


Powerless

by LiterallyThePresident



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Nightmares, Post-Episode 75, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 05:14:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15879276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiterallyThePresident/pseuds/LiterallyThePresident
Summary: “It’s okay.” Sammy hushed him, heart clenching in his chest, “It’s okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, not ever again.”“You promise?” Ben grasped him like he never wanted to let go, “Promise promise? Because that night I thought they would take you from me like they took Emily-““Don’t think about it.” Sammy said quickly, “They didn’t. I’m here. With you. And I’m not leaving.”





	Powerless

Sammy woke to a frantic pounding on his door and five missed calls on his phone. He rubbed his eyes, sitting up and glancing at the time. Four am? Come on, it was their day off!As he debated whether or not to let the visitor hang out there, he finally registered the wild babbling that accompanied the clamor.

“Sammy? Sammy, are you in there? Sammy!? Please please please god please.” The hell? Ben? Sammy got up, not even bothering to put his hair up as he made his way to the door. The pounding grew more frantic, more desperate. Sammy worried his door would come right off it’s hinges, “Don’t do this, _please_ don’t do this, it was just a dream, it had to have just been a dream, _Sammy!_ ”

Sammy opened the door as quick as he could, worry warring with quickly-fading fatigue, “Ben, what the hell is-“

“Sammy?” Ben’s eyes were bloodshot and wild, his whole body shaking and pajamas disheveled. He was barefoot. He was crying. He was looking at Sammy like a man adrift finally seeing an island, “ _Sammy_ , oh thank god. Thank god!” and then he was throwing himself at Sammy, clinging like a koala to a tree and god he was _shaking_ and Sammy didn’t know what to do but wrap his arms steadily around his waist, “Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, I thought-“

“Let’s take this inside, Ben.” Sammy pulled him in and let the door swing shut against the night chill. Ben clung to him as he led them to the small living room, and he didn’t let go even when they sat on the couch. Sammy situated them as best he could, ending up with practically a lapful of trembling best friend. He inhaled deeply, mind whirling with worry as he awkwardly rubbed Ben’s back like he was a skittish foal.

“It’s four in the morning on our day off.” he started cautiously, “And you look like hell. What happened? What are you doing here? Did someone hurt you?”

“I had another nightmare.” Ben said, voice unsteady, “About you. The rainbow lights. That night. But this one was so real. So real, and I-I-I couldn’t-“

“ _Another_ nightmare?” Sammy interrupted, feeling cold spread from his chest, “Ben, have you not been sleeping well?” It had been a month since that night with the lights and Sammy’s ill-advised suicide attempt. Ben had been... a wreck. An absolute wreck of a man who couldn’t bear to let Sammy out of his sight for weeks. A wreck who all but locked him in his house and hovered like a dark cloud until he was certain Sammy wasn’t leaving in _any_ way. But he’d been getting better! Or so Sammy had thought.

“At all.” Ben admitted, “But I try, I do. It’s just that every night I have nightmares and I can usually handle them but this one was _bad_.” Nightmares. Ben had been having nightmares for a month. And Sammy had no idea. He felt like the absolute scum of the earth for having not noticed.

“What made this one different enough that you nearly broke my door down?” Sammy asked slowly even as he kicked himself. How could he not have seen? God he was such a terrible friend, he didn’t deserve Ben. But he managed to push his self-loathing aside, clinging to the mantra that had kept him alive for three years. Ben needed him. Ben needed him.

“It was... I dunno, more real. Vivid.” Ben shrank in on himself, pressing closer to Sammy like he was reassuring himself he wouldn’t crumble into ash like a discount spiderman, “You were with th-the rainbow lights, but I could see you somehow, and they were _hurting_ you and you were screaming and I-I woke up, a-and I couldn’t tell reality from the dream and I couldn’t _think_ through the panic and I called you but you didn’t pick up and the world was fuzzy and s-shaking and I ran and ran because I didn’t know if you were here or up there with _them_ and I-“

“It’s okay.” Sammy hushed him, heart clenching in his chest, “It’s okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, not ever again.”

“You promise?” he grasped him like he never wanted to let go, “Promise promise? Because that night I thought they would take you from me like they took Emily-“

“Don’t think about it.” Sammy said quickly, “They didn’t. I’m here. With you. And I’m not leaving.”

“Ever?” he sounded so small. Sammy’s heart ached for him.

“Ever.” he rubbed his back, trying to sooth him. Ben pressed his ear over Sammy’s heartbeat, clearly trying to calm himself down. Sammy let the silence stretch on, not sure how to make this better. Ben’s breathing seemed to ease somewhat, but he was still trembling.

“It’s not always the same.” he said after a while, “Sometimes I’m just talking to Emily or Troy and I mention you and they get this sympathetic look on their face and say something like ‘Oh Ben, don’t you remember? Sammy’s gone. Taken by those lights.’ and I wake up feeling empty.”

“Ben-“

“And sometimes I’m on the phone with you on that night.” he continued like Sammy hadn’t spoken, more tears wetting his shirt, “But this time they take you. They take you and I’m _powerless_ to stop it, and all I can do is scream and cry and beg them to take me instead.”

“You don’t have to-“

“And sometimes,” his breath hitched, “Sometimes it isn’t even that dramatic. I just... sit at Rose’s Diner, unsigned contract in hand, and watch your car drive away. Back to the big city. Away from us forever.”

“Ben.” Sammy took a shuddering breath, fighting the tears that threatened to well, “I’m not leaving. I’m here, I... I had no idea the thought of being without me affected you this much.”

“I need you.” Ben sniffled, “You keep me sane. Grounded. You’re my best friend, my anchor. I... Can-Can I stay here tonight? Please? I swear I won’t be a burden, I just need you in arms reach.” Sammy’s heart broke for him. How could anyone refuse such a plea?

“Of course.” he said softly, and that was seemingly all Ben needed to curl up into his lap like he intended to live there. Sammy held him, letting him cling, letting him reassure himself that Sammy wasn’t going to disappear. God, how long had Ben been dealing with this alone? He felt self-hatred rear it’s ugly head. What kind of friend was he, to have not noticed his best friend suffering? He was supposed to be Ben’s rock, dammit. And yet he’d brought him nothing but grief. 

“Sammy?” Ben broke him from his thoughts, his voice muffled by his shirt.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” his voice cracked, “So much.”

“I love you too, Ben.” he pressed his cheek to Ben’s hair, “Come on, I’ll put in a movie.”

“Something with a happy ending?” he squeezed him. Sammy ruffled his hair.

“You got it, buddy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Written when super sleepy so apologies. I am currently Obsessed with this podcast. Come scream with me at a-greatbig-bottleof-fuck on tumblr


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